Um...

Er... I uh... well... yeah, I can't even form words.
Read for yourself.

Gross.

Update: (Terrible) Punchline: The guy should be nominated for Boyfriend of the Year (2nd year running).

Update: That joke sucked. I know.

Update: Money Quote:

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend,"...

Ya think?